Happy Birthday, Jessica!

Since my last post, a plethora of blessings and adventures have fallen into my life, and I assure you I will try to get to each and every one of them, if not on this blog than in my daily prayers of thanksgiving.  However, today marks a special day for me that I would like to address first and foremost: it is my sister's (a.k.a. my built-in best buddy) birthday today.  Jessica is one year older, and as you can read at Blog and JAM, ready to make 2012 the best year of her life.

JAM herself

Jessica has always been a fixture in my life as an older sister and a source of advice, comfort, and friendship throughout my trip on this big blue marble.  Being the eldest, Jessica pioneered out into life, the first to enter high school, to enter college, to go to a job interview, and the first to drive 90 mph in a 60 trying to haul our tardy butts to Parliamentary Procedure practice.  I have been very fortunate to learn from Jessica's leadership and exploration, especially since she succeeded at nearly every endeavor with seemingly effortless grace and poise.  I know for a fact that the only reason I was ever able to accurately fill out a FAFSA application was because Jessica had already completed that tasks weeks before with our family income information.

Aside from a teacher, Jessica is a very empathetic soul who can easily pick up on my fluctuations in mood and temper.  A prime example of this quality occurred when Jessica and I were in 7th and 5th grade, respectively.

For those who did not know Jessica and me in middle and high school, we were not always the Best Friends Forever duo that we are today.  During the delicate, hormonally-imbalanced years spanning from 5th to 9th grade, Jessica and I were a seesaw of emotions.  A seesaw in a vortex machine.  In the burning center of a shooting star traveling at speeds beyond our comprehension.  We were classic teens thrown at the mercy of our own changing bodies and chemical makeup.  If we weren't in the middle of a screaming match over me using Jessica's makeup or her "borrowing" a shirt of mine, we were fiercely laughing and joking around with each other at a friend's house or cruising through our neighborhood (it was a small town, guys; we didn't have many options in the way of entertainment).

As I was saying, Jess and I were in 7th and 5th grade.  One day, I sat in my math class waiting for the lecture to begin, and a young bully that we'll call Sam (hah!  His name really was Sam!) decided to pick a little fun at me.  He announced to the class that my face looked like my mother had an affair with Mr. Ed the horse.  Two points to note here: 1) Sam and I had just ended a brief 2-week relationship, so naturally we were both embittered towards each other, and 2) Nice, Sam, real original.  Unlucky for you, everyone else in the whole wide world had already seen The Nutty Professor, so we know that you didn't make that joke up yourself.  Turd.

Now, in hindsight I should have shrugged this nasty little joke off as a little punk kid making the most of our classroom time with the teacher out of earshot, however my mother was at that moment not making it with a barnyard animal but in the hospital recuperating from an unplanned medical procedure, and I was sensitive.  I somehow managed to hold my tears in throughout the class period, but when everyone bustled to the cafeteria for lunch, I remained distraught over this bestiality comment at my expense.  As I waited in line, I saw my sister walk in with one of her friends, and through that magical, sisterly connection that we have, she immediately looked my way and locked eyes with me across the room.  Granted, I'm a heart on my sleeve kind of person, but when Jessica saw my face, she knew something was up.  She and her friend double-timed it over to my spot in line, and I remember her asking fervently, "What's wrong, Tiff?"  Her compassion, as well as the fact that she was an older, cooler kid openly talking to me in a group of young, nerdy middle-schoolers, sent my emotions into double time.

I started crying, barely managing to squeak out what Sam had said, along with, "And Jessica, Mom doesn't deserve that right now!  She doesn't deserve it!" (blubber, sniffle)  After rubbing my arm reassuringly, Jessica looked up and down the lunch line, zeroing in on Sam standing about 5 or 6 spots ahead of me.  Without another word to me, Jessica marched up to Sam, towering over him by about 10 inches, and asked him in a stern voice, "Hey!  What is this I hear about you talking sh*t to my sister?"

Sam's eyes widened in shock and fear, because aside from being one of the most coveted girls at our middle school, in this moment, Jessica was terrifying.  I watched Sam stutter and sputter, denying any involvement in my shattered emotions.  After listening to him stammer for a few seconds, Jessica looked at him with a menacing glare and told him, "Good, because if I hear you say anything to her again, I'll kick your ass."  Then with a flick of her blonde hair and a sneer on her lips that would have made Elvis shudder in his golden jumpsuit, she walked away from him, leaving him in utter embarrassment among his little turdy friends.  Needless to say, nobody was making horse sex jokes on my account after that verbal spanking.

Jessica: Champion Sister & BAMF

Of course, this story is not indicative of Jessica's everyday mannerisms, but it is a cherished memory of the bond we have with each other.  Nobody but my sister would have willingly humiliated a youngster with swear words and threats at that point in my life.  Jessica loves boldly and is a faithful and loyal friend to others, and I am both blessed and thrilled to have her in my life.  That is why I chose to honor her special day today with the story of her threatening to beat up a kid for his lewd suggestions about my mother's mating preferences.

Happy birthday, Jessica!  And a very awesome 2012 to everyone!

Stay tuned-I have one more week of freedom before school starts; I intend to blow up my own personal section of the blogosphere until then.